I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
