is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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