We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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