Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
