My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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