For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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