Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
