guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
