Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i think i just lost a toe
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize