Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
