doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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