This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
