She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize