I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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