"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize