I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
