So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
