please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
