Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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