you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
