break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
