No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize