He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
