Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
