One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
