Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
