I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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