Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
