you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
