She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
