at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize