rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Do vagina's smell?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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