dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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