you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize