dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
