I want to walk on stilts...naked
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
