I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
