Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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