i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
