You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
