yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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