ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
