What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
