i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
