Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize