He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you will always have a special place in my vag
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize