White coat. Heels.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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