I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
