Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
