is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
