i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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