i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so let's talk penis.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
