Your tits are I can't wait for
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
