He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
