Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
