He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
