Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
