i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Someone shattered a urinal.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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