I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
