I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
