considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
